My Personal Search
Author's Note: To be honest, I gave up the search for the One Special Man long ago. At least, I've stopped actively looking. I've always believed that somewhere, there was one man out there, one True Love, just for me. And I believed that I'd find him one day, too. Years and years have gone by, however, and I'm still alone. Yes, I still believe HE is out there somewhere... it's whether or not I'll ever find him that I've at last begun to question. I've walked alone for many years while I waited to find love. And now... well, I'm tired. Tired of searching, of hoping, and never finding what I seek. I just... can't... do it anymore. Sometimes I think maybe it's just not meant to be; maybe I'm supposed to live out this lifetime alone, for whatever reason. Man, I really, really hate that thought. There's still one tiny little spark of hope deep inside me that refuses to go out. Maybe it's the romance writer in me, that I can't stop believing in a Happy Ending, even for me. And that's why I've left this page up here on my website... so that if You are out there, looking for me, You can find me.
Who am I? What am I
Yep, you can read all the looong stuff I've compiled below, but here's a quick recap in a nutshell. I want someone to love, and who loves me. Don't we all! I want even more than that; I'm greedy. I want someone who loves me as much as I love him, a guy who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. He loves me enough to put up with my foibles and my artistic temperament (yep, I got one!), and even more, he's secure enough to accept all the love and spontaneous affection that I have to give him in return. He's not looking for a mommy, nor for someone to dominate. I want a guy who can go toe-to-toe with me in a pitched battle over who's going to do the dishes that day, then take me in his arms and kiss the socks off me :) Passion? You bet... 150%! We'll still be holding hands in our matching wheelchairs in some damned nursing home when we're 90 years old.
Anyway, for the .2% of you men reading this who are still interested <laugh> ....read on!
Who am I?
Getting the basics out of the way: I am 45, and live (for now) in the wild West, in the embrace of the Rockies :) I am a single mom with one 15-year-old daughter. I've been divorced for 15 years and am *very* tired of being lonely! I'd rather be that, though, than unhappy with the wrong person... so I'm willing to wait (and wait... and wait... and wait... <sigh>) until I do find that One Man who was meant just for me, and I for him.
I do feel that the Internet offers unlimited opportunity for meeting people, making friends, learning, sharing..... yes, it offers more opportunity for people to present themselves falsely, but I think we hear far too much about that in the media, and that there are more good, *real* people on the Net than the alarmists will ever admit.
Why am I looking here?
Why am I looking here, when you are there? Well, I work at home on the computer, and technology allows me to receive and send my work via the Internet. So theoretically I can live anywhere I can get unlimited Internet access.... Russia, Tibet, Aleutian Islands, Dublin, that sort of thing. I'd prefer however to stay (for now) in the United States <g> Hawaii is out of the picture because of their nasty quarantine on cats. Darn it :( Besides, I have this kind of allergy to spending 75% of my income on rent, you know?
What do you want to know about me? I've written some 30-odd webpages that will tell you almost anything you want to know <grin>. If you want to start with The Real Me, go to At Home with . If you just want to start at the beginning and wander around, go to ShemahOnline and take it from there.
What am I looking for?
Now the really hard stuff.... what am I looking for??? Good question <grin> What I'm going to do is sort of compile here the various personals ads I've had on various Personals sites over the years, and let you get the overall picture. But I will be up-front with you.... if you are fairly conservative, or a born-again, or a true redneck type, you might just want to move on to someone else's site, because you are *not* going to like who I am, and what I believe in. And probably vice versa.So here we go....
Who am I looking for?
If you want a nice, lukewarm, comfortable relationship, then don't read further.... I'm not who you're looking for. Somewhere out there has to be a man who wants it ALL.... love, passion, friendship, affection, humor, sensuality, touching, caring.... I have all that and more. I want someone who will be as glad to see me when he comes home as I am to see him. One who is not afraid to accept all that I have to give, nor to return it. One who WANTS all I have to give! No separate recliners.... let's sit hip-to-hip on the sofa. It feels right to you to have your arm around me. Laying in bed talking at the end of the day, touching, sometimes just holding each other. Being there for each other. Intensely wild and passionate, softly intimate and gentle at other times. Sometimes I'm the port in the storm... other times I'm the hurricane! It's a package deal; I'm large, loving, beautifully pagan, loyal, passionate, humorous, intelligent.... You have to want it ALL! 'cause that's what you're getting, LOL!
What'd be really great would be an isolated mountain cabin or distant ranch, far from what they call civilization. I have lived such a life for a short time, and would love to be there again. I just don't want to do it alone; would love to have someone to snuggle up to on those cold winter nights, someone to toss snowballs at, someone will laugh back at me, play with me, love me, someone whose idea of "togetherness" does not include his-n-hers recliners or twin beds. Who would rather have a pickup than a Mercedes. Who'd rather sit and watch the hawks soar from their cliff nest than watch Married With Children reruns. A woodstove is better than a furnace... although radiant heat is awesome :) Someone to stand beside you, someone you can count on to be there for you. Mind you, this lifestyle is a liking I have, not a requirement. I can be happy almost anywhere with the right person (except the Far East... don't think I'd like that at all). I can even be happy in the City.... so long as there are bookstores near and an RWA chapter! :)
Here's my favorite Yahoo! personals ad:
Looking for Mr. Tall, Dark and Older! Well... WHERE ARE YOU ALREADY? I've never been good at this waiting thing, you know, and it seems like I've been waiting for you a long time :( I've got about 30 webpages, my own domain, 3 websites and have bios all over the place, just to help you find me. So get with it! Geez. I know, I could settle for less. But I can't because I know you are somewhere out there! I dream of you at night, you know. I feel your arms, holding me close. Sometimes I can almost see your face, and want to reach out to trace your beloved features, to cup your cheek with my hand and feel you press your lips into my palm. I want to feel your fingers, strong and warm, clasp mine across the table at a restaurant. I want to burn up with the leaping, flaring passion between us that is always there, never far from the surface. I want to meet your eyes across the room and know your thoughts, as you know mine. We can have it all. So write to me, NOW!
(no, you don't have to be tall, OR dark, LOL! But doesn't it sound catchy as a subject line? I would rather meet someone older, tho)
Seeking That Special Man.... passionate, loving, caring and sharing, laughing together, sitting out on the porch under the full moon, wood stove in winter. I'm unconventional, fun, cheerful, spontaneous and have a loving nature. ..but, ya gotta have a sense of humor! I am FOR the buffalo, the wolves, and the Native Americans. I am against white supremists, bigots, liars, and men who cheat on their wives. I'm gloriously nonreligious but have nothing against Christians so long as they allow me the same freedom of religion that they enjoy. I have a college education and have lived overseas, and I do medical transcription on my computer at home. I'm really into writing webpages! I love most domestic animals and horses are a special love, but it's been years since I've lived where I could have my own. I'm a city girl by upbringing, but the wilderness speaks to my soul! I'm looooved Montana, for instance... and I can live anywhere with electricity and phone due to my fantastic job :) Don't forget to check out my WEBSITE! Write to tell me about you, and you'll learn more about me, let's see if we click....
Here's my profile from another personals site; I always did love essay questions:
Ideal relationship/type of person
What do you find sexy in a mate?
Describe your personality, physique?
What is a perfect first date (place)?
First things people notice about you?
What are your short/long term goals?
What type of work do you do (enjoy it)?
Favorite music, books, movies, art, etc?
Any pets, hobbies, special
Where born, heritage, places lived?
Where did you go to school, subjects?
Some of your favorite quotes?
What is your main strength, weakness?
What would you do if you won a mega lottery?
So it's a silly place to take a picture. So sue me :)
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